Idiots Should be Fired: Another Letter to Stupid People

By Me

To the Editor (of Town Times):

I just finished reading an article on mixed martial arts spawned by Chris Boulay and Jim Taylor, and, bluntly put, it made me want to vomit. Not since the 1990s have I been so disgusted by a piece of such phenomenal stupidity. Not only do the writers of the article demonstrate the fact that they know absolutely nothing about the topics on which they are reporting, they back up their unsubstantiated, uninformed opinions with a complete disregard for any facts what-so-ever.

Apart from the fact that your writers lacked enough knowledge of the sport to list three fighters (Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson, Ken Shamrock and Frank Shamrock) as men with “staying power,” a statement that any person with any knowledge of the sport would burst out laughing in the midst of, they compounded stupidity which might have been seen and justified as opinion by contradicting basic medical facts and rattling off rhetoric that was done away with almost a decade ago.

You authors make the rhetorical remark: “This ’sport’ is supposed to be immensely popular, but where are all of the stars?” Saying that boxing has bigger stars than mixed martial arts.

It is clear that the authors of the piece you have allowed to be slathered on your publication know as little about boxing as they do about MMA, because, if they did, they would know that mixed martial arts has created more success in crossing into the mainstream in fifteen years than boxing did in its first fifty years as a professional institution.

Let’s forget the fact that MMA has an incredibly successful TV program, inspired films (both fictional and documentaries) and has given rise to a half dozen big names in the Hollywood scene. Randy Couture, Quinton Jackson, Tito Ortiz and Chuck Liddell aside, the UFC (MMA’s major franchise) produces more celebrities at an event than any boxing match until the 1960’s and 70’s at which point boxing had been around for almost a century.

Even if I set aside the fallacious misrepresentation of the history and the clear lack of knowledge about anything, your writers make one statement that really needs to be emphasized for people to see how stupid this article is:

“Where will the disciplinary action come from in the Ultimate Fighting Championship, International Fight League, or other like-minded organizations should someone die?”

This statement was, at least in essence, spat from Senator John McCain’s mouth in the early 90’s, but I doubt your writers would have known that for the same reason they wouldn’t know that McCain was destroyed by Ken Shamrock in a debate over the issue and almost every credible medical professional to have released a statement on the sport has acknowledged that MMA is less dangerous than boxing, rugby, football or hockey, and that it is better regulated by state commissions than any of those sports.

It is my firm belief that if you don’t know something about a sport, you shouldn’t talk about it, and if your authors are considering writing another article, they should take President Lincoln’s advice.

“It is better to be silent and thought a fool then to speak and remove all doubt.”

Sincerely frustrated,

Joshua Stein

RIP: Ryan Gracie

I've been debating whether or not to talk about the death of Ryan Gracie for a while, and while it's not recent, it's significant.

It's important to realize that, when we talk about MMA fighters who die young the way that Ryan did, it's not just about their record, it's about the way that they fought and the way that they competed.

There's something that's weirdly nostalgic when I talk about Ryan Gracie, because even though he was never the best jiu-jitsu fighter, never the most notable brother, never the most dominant in the family, there was something about him that always made me excited when he was going to fight.

Ryan Gracie like to kill people, and when I was younger and wanted to see something visceral, Ryan's fights were on. For those who could not appreciate the technical nature of jiu-jitsu, Ryan was the most interesting Gracie, because he could win with a submission or he could win with a knockout, and he didn't really care which it was.

Perhaps that's what made him one of the most controversial figures in the Gracie family. Perhaps that's what made him the enigma that would often be described as a villain or a bad guy.

It's not strange to talk about a fighter who only had seven fights as a great fighter, as I believe Ryan was, but it is strange to talk about a guy who was only around for a short period of time as a legend. There are those who think that I might be romanticizing Ryan when I say that, but there is something legendary about the way that he fought, there was something about saying his name that reminds even the most traditional, calm jiu-jitsu practitioners of the most visceral practitioner in the martial art.

Ryan Gracie died, and while his death was under very strange circumstances, and his life was, at best, ethically questionable, he never lacked for an exciting performance, and he never neglected to put on a show.

He was not the greatest Gracie, and as an older and (at least I like to think) more mature fighter and fan, I feel strange that I once looked up to his visceral fighting style in my grappling training the same way that I looked up to Mike Tyson as a striker.

They were far from good role models, but they were, beyond a doubt, incredibly exciting for me to watch, and for me to misremember Ryan as anything less than one of my grappling heroes would do him a great disservice.

There are those in the grappling world who didn't much care for him, but Ryan Gracie deserves to be remembered, and I hope he will be.

Open Weight UFC Tournament

Someone threw out the idea of a UFC open weight tournament and I asked them to present some brackets and I'd give them my take, so here are my hypotheticals.

A: Lidell vs Werdum
B: Penn vs Big Nog
C: GSP vs Kongo
D: A.Silva vs Lyoto Machida

Liddell beats Werdum (TKO, Round 3) There's no way in hell that Werdum gets Liddell to the ground, because there's no way Liddell lets this fight get into the clinch and he's very hard to shoot on. Liddell wins with a big counterpunch.

Nog beats BJ Penn (Unanimous Decision) I don't think that Nog is going to be able to finish BJ, as BJ's ellusive, but BJ would definitely lose this matchup. He's way too small, and would get easily swept if this fight hit the ground (though his arms are too small for Nog to sink in a triangle or an armbar).

Kongo beats GSP (Round 2, TKO) Kongo is way too big. GSP may be a great wrestler and submission fighter, but it's hard to deal with that size advantage. Kongo would punish him at range and knock him out after beating him up well.

Anderson Silva beats Lyoto Machida (Round 1, TKO) Stylistically, this is the worst possible matchup for Machida. Machida lives off of being illussive, but Anderson will come after him in that technically explosive, percise way, put him in the clinch and finish. The size difference here is not a factor at all.

Nog beats Liddell (Unanimous Decision) Technical boxing display from Nog, but no big finish. Liddell is too tired from some exchanges with Werdum to do much, while Nog didn't expend as much energy handling BJ (because he was just fighting with his weight, no muscular pushing was really necessary). Nog is the fresher fighter and it shows.

Kongo beats Silva (2nd Round, TKO) Kongo, like Nog, is still fresh because he fought a fighter he could just throw his weight around against, while Silva had a legit challenge. Again, size plays a serious factor in this fight and the 20+ pound weight advantage for Kongo, along with the 4 or 5 inch reach advantage allows him to keep Silva at range and dominate. Maybe he finishes, maybe not, but I think that Silva is tired to the point where he will break down. Chasing Machida tired him out.

Kongo beats Nogueira (Unanimous Decision) Kongo has two matches where he's been the heavier fighter by twenty or thirty pounds, (Nog had that in the first one, but would get caught in some exchanges with Chuck, inevitably) and he's the better striker. Nog will not take him down, and if the fight stays standing, Kongo will win by using kicks and combinations at range.

Podium:

First Place: Cheick Kongo
Second Place: Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira
Third Place: Anderson Silva

A: A.Silva vs Werdum
B: Lidell vs Kongo
C: GSP vs Penn
D: Big Nog vs Lyoto

Werdum beats Anderson Silva (1st Round, Submission) World championship BJJ and a thirty pound weight advantage make it easy for me to say Werdum would win this fight. Silva would strike, maybe do some damage, try to clinch up or close the distance, and he'd end up in a Greco clinch, be on his back, and the World class BJJ would trump Silva's blackbelt.

Kongo beats Liddell (3rd Round, KO/Unanimous Decision) Kongo can wear Liddell out, the fight will stay standing, and either Chuck's cardio will buckle and he will get knocked out or it won't and he will simply drop it on the scorecards.

Penn beats GSP (Unanimous Decision) This is a fight I'd love to see. It could go either way. I'm giving it to BJ, because I think that if he could get the fight to the ground, he'd maintain control positions and win. It's a fun fight, though. Still, it won't matter in the next round, and I'll explain why.

Nog beats Lyoto (Unanimous Decision) This is an incredibly boring fight. The judges will give it to Nog because Lyoto won't hurt him and Lyoto will be the one backing up.

Werdum beats Kongo (Round 1, Submission) I feel like this one speaks for itself. Kongo gets caught clinched up with Werdum, ends up on his back and gets tapped.

Nogueira beats BJ/GSP (Unanimous Decision) Nog will throw his weight around and control the fight, wherever it goes. He'll control it with his reach, standing up, and with his jiu-jitsu on the ground. All of the technical skills won't matter, because the size difference is really severe.

Werdum beats Nog (Unanimous Decision) Nog has spent 30 minutes fighting in the cage, he's exhausted and it shows. Even throwing his weight around in the second fight doesn't give him an edge, because Werdum spent most of the time resting after his submissions. Werdum will get in close, as Nog will be too tired to be seriously ellusive standing up, and get the fight to the ground. I think that Werdum would probably pass Nog's guard, but it doesn't really matter. Even if he doesn't, he'll win by being on top for three rounds while Nog fails to submit a superior grappler and fails to keep the fight standing.

Podium:

1st Place: Werdum
2nd Place: Nog
3rd Place: Kongo

A: Lidell vs Lesnar
B: Big Nog vs Rampage
C: Wand vs A.Silva
D: Werdum vs Machida

Lesnar beats Liddell (Round 1, TKO) Lesnar own a 60 pound weight advantage, as long as he doesn't have to cut to 265, and a superior wrestling background. While Liddell has power, I'm not delusional enough to believe that someone without a serious jiu-jitsu background is going to be able to take Lesnar on the ground. Lesnar will win this fight by sheer virtue of his physical power, as much as I had to say it.

Nog beats Rampage (Unanimous Decision) This would be an interesting fight, standing up, and I don't think that Nog has a serious size advantage in this fight (15 pounds, at most). Still, I think that his striking is a little more technical and he won't have the problem that most of Rampage's opponents have (that being Rampage's physical power) because they are the same size. Rampage wouldn't be able to finish Nog, and Nog's ability to work around strikes gives him in this fight in my mind.

Anderson beats Wanderlei (Round 1, TKO) If this was the old Wanderlei, I would give it to him easily. Unfortunately, even the win over Jardine does not make Wanderlei the fighter he once was, and Anderson is at his peak in terms of his career. So I'm gonna give this to Anderson, but it could be much more exciting and much more interesting than just the typical dominant performance we see from Anderson.

Werdum beats Machida (Round 1 Submission) This could actually be a straight up chase at one point, but I think that eventually Werdum would close the distance and get this fight down. I know Machida has a good submission game, but there's a difference between a blackbelt and a world championship. Werdum really would catch Machida on the ground and finish this, if only by virtue of his muscle advantage.

Nog beats Lesnar (Round 2/3, Submission) This fight will end up in Nogueira's guard, and when it does you'll see that inevitable Nogueira submission combination. Whether Nog catches it immediately with the triangle or armbar or whether Lesnar starts to muscle out and gets caught in the second or third attack doesn't really matter, because he's going to get caught.

Werdum beats Anderson (Round 1, Submission) If Anderson has a tough fight with Wanderlei, then he'll get killed by his own fatigue and collapse under Werdum's game. If it doesn't, he'll still lose a technical battle on the ground. Werdum is a really incredibly grappler, and, as I've said before, he is a level above the rest of the guys in this division.

Werdum beats Nog (Unanimous Decision) This fight would be a little bit closer, since we don't have Nog coming off of two decision wins. However, there's a chance Lesnar could leave him in as much pain as Sapp did, which would stop this fight before it even starts. Either way, this goes down the same way as the other match I've described. Werdum will get on top, and the judges will give him the win for his takedowns and control.

Podium:

1st Place: Werdum
2nd Place: Nog
3rd Place: Anderson Silva

Monson Calls Out Kimbo

This fight would be awesome. Monson would fucking kill Kimbo (who grapples like a second string guy on the Special Olympics wrestling team).

The Great Collapse

The UFC heavyweight division is falling apart.

At best, it’s a nag with two broken legs trying to race against a field of less known, but far more aggressive and focussed competition. I wrote in a piece in January saying that if the UFC heavyweight division didn’t get an injection of talent, it wouldn’t recover on its own, and since the only serious pickup the division has made in the last few months is Shane Carwin, who was impressive at UFC 84, it’s impossible to say that the division has done any real work to recover.



They haven’t invested their money in a single top ten heavyweight since signing Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, they’ve failed to put UFC champion Randy Couture back in the Octagon and they’ve turned Nogueira into their paper champion by matching him up with the incredibly undeserving Frank Mir, hoping that having both fighters coach a season of the Ultimate Fighter series will give them time to develop a serious contender.



In the meantime, Affliction has put together a single card consisting of four former world champions (three from the UFC and one from Pride), ressurected the career of legend Pedro “The Rock” Rizzo (a three time UFC top contender) and speckled the roster with more top ten big men than the UFC has on their entire roster.



In the last 20 UFC cards, there have been two heavyweight title fights, and while it’s understandable that the UFC might take some time to try and resolve the contract disputes with Couture, the contractual issues aren’t the reason why it’s taken so long. It’s the result of an incredible ineptitude for signing and resigning top talent.



It seems like any heavyweight that wins in the UFC automatically fails to retains his contract. Andrei Arlovski beat Fabricio Werdum to become the only fighter on the heavyweight roster with a winning streak and the UFC couldn’t sign him. Andrei has since been signed to Affliction and will fight on the Banned card. His opponent, Big Ben Rothwell, should have been signed by the UFC when he entered the free-agency after leaving the IFL. Rothwell is on a thirteen fight win streak.



The UFC brass also failed to resign former champion Tim Sylvia after he beat Brandon Vera. His ending of Vera’s undefeated streak may not have led people to consider him a contender to fight Nogueira, as he won by way of a boring decision, but given that most of the fighters in the UFC had lost one of their last three fights (including Mir, who’s now the top contender, Werdum, who’s behind him in line, and Vera, who gets billed as the next rising star), Sylvia looked pretty good.



There’s only a handful of guys who are arguably top ten heavyweight on the UFC roster, and while Fedor Emelianenko has had his #1 spot disputed because of his inability to fight top competition, there’s no doubt in my mind that the Affliction division he’s now a part of is far more exciting than the basket of cans now making up Nogueira body of competition.



You won’t see people doubt Nogueira’s ranking, whether they call him one or two, but he’s very much alone in the UFC division he’s now presented with.

I do have a solution for the UFC, and while it’s not a pretty one, it’s one that would work if they put some money into it.



Sign a dozen heavyweights. Pick up lesser names from small shows, guys like Christian N’Pumbu and Tony Bonello, and some cult legends like Bobby Hoffman and Travis Fulton. They aren’t expensive, but they are exciting and they’ll give fights with some story and some substance. The division may not improve immediately in quality, it may not get immediate recognition, but when fans see how exciting and how good some of the small show fighters are, it will ressurect some of the credibility of the division, and it’s so severely lacking right now that any credibility at all would be worth the money.

Hardonk vs. Sanchez

Here's the video. It takes a while to load up, but it's worth waiting for.

My only thoughts on this fight:

Oh my f*cking god.

Great come from behind win for Hardonk.

Should the UFC sign Kimbo?

Obviously, the answer is hell no.

Still, since the question was posted on the forum, here's the full length response.

He's worth about as much as they pay the other guys who mop the apron with their beards.

Realistically, Kimbo Slice is not an asset to any professional MMA organization that wants to be taken seriously, especially the biggest show.

Slice has no ground game, so what happens if you put Kimbo in the ring with Werdum, Gonzaga, Mir or even f*cking Brock Lesnar. He's the only guy Brock could submit.

Kimbo has no technical striking, so if you put him in the cage with Vera, Kongo, Hardonk or any other striker in the division he'd be picked apart and eaten like fried chicken.

Everyone is enamored with this guy because he has a chin and an account on youtube. So what?

There are dozens of solid strikers who have skills, and dozens more who have chins. Mark Hunt actually has a kickboxing background and you don't hear the UFC talking about signing him. (they should, but another vent for another day)

Really, this is a dumb question, but aside from that, once Brett Rogers knocks Kimbo out (and hopefully this will happen sooner rather than later), the Kimbo Slice hype train will have pulled into the station, then we can all go about our merry way like we did after Mir beat Lesnar and that hype machine died.